Drow Council Minutes
31 May 2024 - Transcribed by Paul TurnerDeep in the Underlands of Crimson Rock the light of cold, blue flames illuminated the spire towers which sat in opposition to the stalactites piercing the view from above. Like a great drooling maw, the Drow capital city of Uunderville made for an imposing backdrop. Most of the city was encased against the corner of the great cavern it sat in, with the main entrance fed into by a long, skinny stone bridge which spanned over a gaping chasm. The city removed much of its trash by dumping it into the black expanse. Many believed it led into the Under-Underlands, but none who ever ventured into it ever returned.
Within the city itself, atop the largest spire at the center of Uunderville sat a rather plain room. It had nothing in the way of adornments, and the only furniture it contained was a round, oak table and nine chairs. In contrast to its simplicity, this chamber would decide the machinations and fate for the thousands who lived and worked in the capital. The Drow Council, nine leaders who did not know one another’s true identities, were the de facto rulers of Uunderville. As a collective, they made the major decisions for the entire city. They were tasked with the rule of law, budgets, audits, and also little feedback slips which were often derogative and ignored. As they walked into the room and sat down, none of them knew it would be their last time.
Each member wore a hooded robe, and had their face covered with leather masks representing a different animal. The shape of each one altered their voices, making it nearly impossible to tell the timbre of each member’s voice from their actual, civilian tone. Wolf spoke first.
“Listen up. As some of you know, we have a long agenda today. I have the honor of presiding, Rat will take the minutes, and I understand Vulture has arranged for refreshments, but I will remind you that as stated in our charter, no one leaves until we have completed the tasks set by our people,” he said in a voice which rasped with authority.
“Their will be done,” chanted the members in unison.
An unseated aide behind Vulture went around the table, pouring out a cup of thick, dark grayish brown liquid into each one before setting it before the members. None of them paid the aide any attention, and a few struggled to drink while also removing their mask as little as possible. Pig choked as he drank greedily and Bat spilled most of his cup when trying to fumble across the space in front of him. Eagle cleared his throat and began.
“The watchmen report a need for more recruits. More of the scouts on the rim have been disappearing than usual. We can no longer blame it on falls alone-”
“More conspiracies?” laughed Jackal. “I thought we were here to answer problems, not worry over the fears of guards who are too worked up over the shadows at their feet!”
“Enough,” said Wolf. “Rat, please allocate funds for more advertisements in the marketplace and with the orphanage to call for watchmen.”
“But sir, we clearly need-,” started Eagle.
“And allocate a signing bonus of three slips. A kingly sum for anyone brave enough, surely. Their will be done.” said Wolf, his voice unaltered by the interruption.
“Their will be done,” echoed the group.
With that, the council would consider the matter closed. Resolved, even. Eagle was perturbed, but his leather mask gave no indication of the seething stare underneath. He instead pointed his finger towards Wolf.
“You wish to call a Point of Order? Are you perhaps thinking that we are at present violating a rule or dictum?” Asked Wolf in a measured tone.
“No,” admitted Eagle. “I only wish to have something clarified on our decision.”
A moment of silence passed in the council chamber. Clarity was of course, of paramount importance to the council, but ensuring nine men in warm robes and stuffy masks in a room with no windows were on the same page could take time.
“Oh just let him speak,” said Bear brusquely.
“Please,” Wolf relented. “What would you like clarified?”
“Well, it’s just that… It’s just I would like to know what color you intend the signs to be. The advertisements for the new watchmen.”
“The color?” Asked Vulture.
“Yes. I think we can all agree the color of a flier is very important. It has to be auspicious and with just enough daring to catch the eye while also taking care not to cause offense to it,” explained Eagle. He looked to the members with his hands out in a pleading gesture, but was met only with the stoic visage of their leather masks.
“Auspicious?” Asked Bat.
“Offensive? Asked Pig.
“Echo,” laughed Jackal.
Wolf slapped a firm hand on the table, returning silence to the room.
“Would you be willing to table this query for the next meeting?” He asked.
“You know as much as I do that we need those flyers up before we reconvene on the next moon,” said Eagle.
“Okay I know we went over this last time, but what’s a ‘moon’ again?” Asked Bat.
“Shut up, Bat! We may live in a cavern, but even you don’t live in a cave,” said Jackal.
“Gentlemen,” said Wolf coolly. “Fine, Eagle. Do you have a suggestion?”
Eagle held a hand up to his mask, and pondered on the question for a moment.
“I was thinking maybe mauve would help set it apart from the riff-raff of the more bawdy advertisements.”
Rat wrote down the word and scratched it out a few times until he felt reasonably sure he had spelled mauve correctly. He had not.
“Wouldn’t that be hard to read?” Asked Cat.
“Well the lettering would be black, of course,” said Eagle.
“What about our city’s natural blue lighting, wouldn’t that throw it off?” Said Pig.
A silence fell over the room again for a moment.
“What about teal?” Asked Vulture.
“Oh, I hate teal,” said Bear.
“You hate teal? How could you hate teal? It’s so lovely,” said Cat.
“Don’t the fishmongers use teal?” said Pig, more a statement than question.
Wolf rapped his fingertips against the desk.
“What if we used black paper with white lettering? Something a little more daring?” said Jackal.
Rat cleared his throat. “We tried to order black paper before, but our signmaker made it clear it was cost-prohibitive. Something about the white ink being runny.”
“I have a suggestion,” said Wolf, his unmoving visage showing the hint of a smile. “What about taupe?”
“Taupe? I’ve never heard of it. Is it elegant?” Said Eagle.
Several other members shared knowing glances.
“It is most elegant,” said Wolf.
“And we can obtain a suitable ink for it as well?”
“I believe so.”
“That does sound elegant. Taupe. I like it!” Said Eagle.
“Then it is settled,” said Wolf before coughing into his hand. “Now if we could please move to-,”
His next words never escaped his lips. Instead, a torrent of blood and stomach bile began to pour from Wolf’s mask. He attempted to brace the table, but his strength soon left and he collapsed to the ground. Several of the members jumped up. Bear and Rat, who had been on either side attempted to check on him. Pig moved immediately to the chamber door.
“It’s locked! Why is it locked?” He yelled.
“We haven’t finished our agenda. We never leave until we’ve submitted the minutes,” said Bat.
Several members looked over to Rat, but he was puking blood onto the sheets he held in his hands. He soon collapsed into a heap.
“Oh Gods, it’s spreading!” Exclaimed Cat.
Bear ripped the blood-soaked pages from Rat’s hands while he twitched on the ground. Running over to the door, he tripped and slid into the door headfirst, his massive body now burying the agenda minutes and creating a wedge against the door itself. Within a few minutes the other members of the council dropped one by one. Eagle was the last to fall, his last dizzied words a whisper.
“Taupe sounds elegant,” he said.
The next morning, the council aides unlocked the chamber door to bring in new provisions and to swap out the room attendant. Instead, they found the bodies of the nine council members in various states of decomposition. The cause of death became clear after an inspection of the room. Poison had taken them. Despite combing over the scene for hours, only two hints remained as to the culprit. First was that the room attendant aide’s body was not found with those of the council members. Second was a torn scrap of paper near where Rat had collapsed. It only had one word on it.
Taupe.
THE END